Slices & Dices
little bits of food news...
Holiday "Oops!" File 1996: Cabbage Patch Kids
The real toy story of Christmas 1996 was, of course, the vicious hair-eating Cabbage Patch dolls. These "Snacktime Kids" have a feature that mimics chewing, complete with french fries that are shoved into their mechanical mouths. But the uncouth little wretches have no taste: dozens of real kids lost their hair to the voracious appetites of these little monsters, who lack a most important piece: an off switch. As the story unfolded, the LA Times joke section featured these remarks:
- - "Toy maker Mattel says the doll was designed that way, to send a strong message to girls not to chew on their hair." (Johnny Robish)
- - "This is one great way to shave your husband's back." (Buddy Baron)
- - "Mattel may make the best of things by renaming it the Cannibal Patch Doll." (Premiere Morning Sickness)
- - "One sure-fire way to disable it: Feed it fruitcake." (Stan Kaplan)
In other holiday news:
- - The Bongo Java Coffee Shop in Nashville attracted thousands with a cinnamon bun bearing the likeness of Mother Teresa. Now they have t-shirts, mugs and—of course—a website with pictures of the holy roll. View it at: http://www.qecmedia.com/nunbun/
- - A building blew up in Las Vegas, the ball dropped in Times Square, but New Year's Eve in Tempe, AZ, was marked by a giant tortilla chip dropping slowly into—you guessed it—a jar of salsa. (No coincidence of course that the Fiesta Bowl was sponsored by Tostitos.)
- - The Surgeon General proclaimed exercise to be a bad New Year's resolution, but it's not what it sounds like. Too many people resolve to start overly ambitious health regimes, then abandon them after just a few weeks. Instead of creating special times for exercise, we are encouraged to become more active on a daily basis: taking the stairs, parking farther and walking, etc. In fact, I think I'll walk upstairs for another piece of Christmas chocolate right now!
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The eGG-Roll (Date: December 31, 1996)
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