Halloween: Edible Body Parts

The Halloween Body Shop
Edible Body Parts for Halloween

Our Motto: "Parts Is Parts"

By Kate Heyhoe

Here's our frightening guide to Halloween gore—all using real foods. Blindfold your victims as you escort them on this tactile tour of a "Taste of the Dark" (Halloween is much scarier when you can touch and hear, but cannot see), and guide them gently through a special passage to "The Haunted Body Shop"—where the motto is "parts is parts."

The Haunted Body Shop:
Body Parts Directory

Teenage Werewolf Hearts: Peeled, roasted chestnuts ("good to eat—feel the ridges on your tongue")
Bat's Toenails: Whole caraway or cumin seeds; "crush them in your teeth."
Batwings: Smoked turkey wings (without the drumstick); beef jerky lightly soaked to soften.
Bloody Nuns' Hearts: poached eggs in chunky salsa.
Breaking Fingers: Wieners pierced with a thin breadstick; snap in half. (use a skewer to make a hole through the length of the wiener first).
Burned Rats & Rattails: Long green anaheim chiles (fresh, with stem), charred until blackened.
Coagulated Bat's Blood: chunky fruit purée with granola.
Cockroach Carcasses: Rice crackers—the ones shaped like little logs.
Dead Baby Brains: A bowl of overcooked, mushy cauliflower and eggplant, with large, round capers; can also be anyone's brains.
Dead Baby Fat: Tofu, preferably silken soft but any variety will do.
Dead Ears: Dried apricots, apples or pears.
Dead Witch Veins: Cooked buccatini (hollow spaghetti), chilled.
Decaying Flesh 1: dried phyllo dough sheets.
Decaying Flesh 2: baked puff pastry.
Decaying Flesh 3: mashed potatoes topped with flakes of the above.
Decaying Flesh 4: Corn meal mush, or polenta, dried and in chunks.
Decaying Flesh 5: Toasted dried seaweed sheets (Japanese nori); crush them.
Dried Lizard Legs: fried La Choy Noodles.
Dried Worm Exo-Skeletons: fried La Choy Noodles.
Ectoplasm: Applesauce.
Eyeballs 1: Popping: Cherry tomatoes set in gelatin (Jello) in an ice cube tray—stick one in the victim's mouth and tell them to bite down.
Eyeballs 2: Peeled grapes in a bowl; stick the victim's hand in.
Eyeballs 3: Olives stuffed with cream cheese and a squid tentacle.
Eyeballs 4: Fish eyeballs: martini pearl onions in a bowl of honey; raisins plumped in oil.

Fresh Vomit: Chunky Salsa & Canned Corn, mixed.
Missing Toe or Finger: Piece of carrot, cut to proper size, peeled and dried for 2 days.
Pus Soup: Mayonnaise and green salsa.
Rotted teeth: Unpopped (or partially popped) popcorn kernels; Cornnuts; pine nuts.
Skeleton hair: Corn silks.
Vampire's Earwax: Fudge.
Worms: Spaghetti in a bowl; spiral-shaped rotini make good locust larvae; stick victim's hand in.
Zombie hair: scraped, cooked spaghetti squash.